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Thursday, 01 March 2007

Currently Listening
Hellogoodbye
By Hellogoodbye
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almost friday?

this past week has been anything but ordinary. the funeral service on tuesday was absolutely beautiful. it was so touching.
this week has stressed me out terribly. i don't think i have felt this tired all semester. literally, i'm lucky if i'm getting 5 hours of sleep a night, followed by 15+ hour days. it's rough getting up at 6:30 am when you don't get to bed until 2:00 am. i hoping this stress and lack of sleep are the reasons that i feel like crap. my muscles just feel heavy, and sometimes it's hard to just hold my head up. this week seriously feels like it's lasted months. it's funny, the way our mind plays tricks on us. thankfully, i have nothing due tomorrow (only one class), so i can just chill tonight and get to bed early. i miss sleep.

Friday, 23 February 2007

Currently Listening
The Black Parade
By My Chemical Romance
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my car is fixed, but now my heart is broken.

Friday, 16 February 2007

Currently Reading
A Wedding in December
By Anita Shreve
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"'Crush,' I think, is not an entirely accurate word in this case. I could use the phrase 'in love,' couldn't I? But you'd doubt me because you'd think that to love someone, one must have at least the barest beginnings of a relationship. But since this is my story, we'll dispense with semantics and just take it on faith that I was, indeed, in love..."

my car is broken.

Friday, 09 February 2007

i say i can't sleep because i'm so very cold...

you know, there just comes a point in your life when you just can't do it anymore. i don't even know what "it" is, i just know i can't do it right now. there's just too much. it just gets to be too much. but i guess that's when i'm best..when there is too much going on. i work best in stressful situations. i've been watching the guardian today, and some of the quotes just hit me. "you have to know your limits" "you can't save everyone, and you have to save yourself first". it's that last part i'm having trouble with; i usually don't put myself first, but maybe it's time i do. i don't know. lots of thinking to do. this is what happens when i have a day that i have nothing to do. i think, and that thinking usually leads to more thinking and questions that i don't have the answers for. it's slightly frustrating.
anywho, lots to do this weekend. probably going to spend most of tomorrow getting it done before the strongsville game. sunday is usually worthless and unproductive. i have an attention span of about 8 seconds when it comes to studying or writing papers. i just have no motivation to do as well as i've done the past 7 semesters. coming into the home stretch and i just don't care. that's fantastic; it's only february.

"Hell, I've always been old Ben. Ya' know what though, I don't mind. I mean if my muscles ache, it's because I've used 'em. It's hard for me to walk up them steps now, its 'cuz I walked up 'em every night to lay next to a man who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I've layed under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look and feel this way, well cuz I drank and I smoked. I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way through a pretty damn good life if you ask me. Getting old ain't bad Ben. Getting old, that's earned."

Friday, 02 February 2007

Currently Listening
Jerry MaGuire: Music From The Motion Picture
By Various Artists
secret garden [<3 bruce]
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you've gone a million miles, how far did you get?

i'm seriously so happy right now . there is a really, really good chance that my brother is going to princeton next year! that just makes me so happy that he might have decided where he's going. i was looking at their website, and the campus and town seem perfect. so of course this means more road trips out east . aaand my older brother is coming home in a couple of weeks, which is just fantastic because i feel like it's been forever since i've seen him (really it's been about a month). he seriously is the only person who can put me in a good mood after a completely shitty day/week/month whatever.
i should get to bed. working 8-11, class and then i start my volunteering tomorrow . i'm excited to be working with these kids though. i think it will be fun .
oh and ps..thank goodness for some sunshine. i was beginning to forget what it meant to have the sun shining. granted, i understand that it's supposed to snow for the next couple of days, but i'm better now and can handle it. there is hope .